The psychological impact of an unreliable father on his son and on the family: Therapeutic interventions with the child and within the family system

ABSTRACT This paper explores the impact of an erratic, unreliable and toxic father on the psychological development of his son, Nicola, an eight-year-old boy, who, lacking an empathic selfobject experience with his father, developed emotional dysregulated reactions and aggressive behaviors. The clinical report shows how the child communicated his distress through such behaviors with his mother, at school, and in the therapy sessions. The pervasive affective presence of the father, notwithstanding his unpredictability and substantial absence, reverberated on the family system, because the mother’ ambivalence towards him was a source of conflict and confusion for Nicola. Play therapy and additional family meetings created the emotional space to process the feelings haunting the child and nourishing his anger and confusion. The mother had created the image of an unapproachable father and denied the child pain and resentment for his absence. Therefore, Nicola did not understand his anger and disappointment towards his father, and even less his continuously frustrated need to be close to him. The clinical report of the therapeutic play interactions between analyst and child centers on an impasse and its eventual resolution which stimulated change in the whole family system. Child treatment requires attention to the entire family as a condition for the child to work through his affective experience via symbolic play and, for the mother to acquire a healthy limit setting and emotional responsiveness to her son’s affective experience.