自我同情、自尊和幸福

IF 4.8 2区 心理学 Q1 PSYCHOLOGY, SOCIAL
K. Neff
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引用次数: 764

摘要

这篇文章关注的是自我同情的构建以及它与自尊的区别。首先,它讨论了这样一个事实,即虽然自尊与心理健康有关,但追求高自尊可能会有问题。接下来,它展示了另一种自我感觉良好的方式:自我同情。自我同情需要善待自己,认识到一个人的共同人性,并注意到自己的消极方面。最后,这篇文章表明,自我同情可能会给心理健康带来与自尊相似的好处,但缺点更少。研究表明,与自尊相比,自我同情提供了更大的情绪弹性和稳定性,但与自尊相比,它涉及的自我评价、自我防御和自我提升较少。自尊需要对自己进行积极的评价,通常包括对自己与众不同和高于平均水平的需求,而自我同情并不需要自我评价或与他人比较。相反,它是一种善意的、联系的、清晰的方式,即使在失败、不足和不完美的情况下也能与自己联系起来。想象一下,你是一名业余创作歌手,你邀请你的朋友和家人去附近的咖啡馆看你的表演,那里展示了当地的人才。晚会结束后,你问每个人感觉如何。对方的回答是:“你表现一般。”在这种情况下你会怎么想?羞愧,羞辱,就像你是个失败者一样?在我们这个竞争异常激烈的社会里,平庸是不可接受的。我们必须与众不同,高于常人,才能觉得自己有价值。当然,问题在于不可能同时让每个人都超过平均水平。这意味着我们倾向于夸大自己的自我评价(Alicke & Sedikides, 2009),贬低他人,这样我们就能在比较中感到优越(Tesser, 1999)——所有这些都是以维护自尊的名义。例如,研究表明,整整90%的司机认为他们比他们的同伴更熟练(Preston & Harris, 1965)——甚至那些最近造成车祸的人也认为他们是优秀的司机!本文将论证,追求高自尊有时会适得其反,而自我同情可能会提供一种更健康、更可持续的自我感觉良好的方式。然而,首先,我将考虑将自尊视为心理健康的最终标志的一些问题。
本文章由计算机程序翻译,如有差异,请以英文原文为准。
Self-Compassion, Self-Esteem, and Well-Being
This article focuses on the construct of self-compassion and how it differs from self-esteem. First, it discusses the fact that while self-esteem is related to psychological well-being, the pursuit of high self-esteem can be problematic. Next it presents another way to feel good about oneself: selfcompassion. Self-compassion entails treating oneself with kindness, recognizing one’s shared humanity, and being mindful when considering negative aspects of oneself. Finally, this article suggests that self-compassion may offer similar mental health benefits as self-esteem, but with fewer downsides. Research is presented which shows that self-compassion provides greater emotional resilience and stability than self-esteem, but involves less self-evaluation, ego-defensiveness, and self-enhancement than self-esteem. Whereas self-esteem entails evaluating oneself positively and often involves the need to be special and above average, self-compassion does not entail selfevaluation or comparisons with others. Rather, it is a kind, connected, and clear-sighted way of relating to ourselves even in instances of failure, perceived inadequacy, and imperfection. Imagine that you’re an amateur singer-songwriter, and you invite your friends and family to see you perform at a nearby coffeehouse that showcases local talent. After the big night you ask everyone how they thought it went. ‘You were average’ is the reply. How would you feel in this scenario? Ashamed, humiliated, like you were a failure? In our incredibly competitive society, being average is unacceptable. We have to be special and above average to feel we have any worth at all. The problem, of course, is that it is impossible for everyone to be above average at the same time. This means that we tend to inflate our self-evaluations (Alicke & Sedikides, 2009) and put others down so that we can feel superior in comparison (Tesser, 1999) – all in the name of maintaining our selfesteem. For instance, research has shown that fully 90% of drivers think they’re more skilled than their road mates (Preston & Harris, 1965) – even people who’ve recently caused a car accident think they’re superior drivers! This paper will argue that striving for high self-esteem can sometimes be counterproductive, and that self-compassion may offer a healthier and more sustainable way to feel good about oneself. First, however, I will consider some of the problems with seeing self-esteem as the ultimate marker of psychological health.
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来源期刊
Social and Personality Psychology Compass
Social and Personality Psychology Compass Psychology-Social Psychology
CiteScore
5.20
自引率
2.20%
发文量
59
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