Birth trauma: the elephant in the nursery.

Method: The current study used a multiperspectival (dyadic) IPA approach to interview eight participants (N = 4 heterosexual couples) where one parent was help-seeking for the experience of birth trauma.

Results: Analysis resulted in four superordinate themes: (1) From perfect plan to shattered reality, (2) Trauma in the healthcare system, (3) Trauma in the family system and (4) The post-trauma family: Navigating the new normal.

Discussion: Parents described a shared experience of birth trauma during birth. However, fathers' perceived trauma ended in the delivery room whilst mothers' continued far beyond this. The dyadic focus showed a divergence of experience postnatally: differing levels of awareness to distress existed between partners, mothers experienced bonding difficulties and parents took to separate coping mechanisms. The trauma remained invisible and unspoken as couples avoided discussions about the birth, coped silently and separately. The parents identity changed following the trauma as individuals, couples and as a family.

Conclusion: The time following a traumatic birth is experienced differently by mothers and fathers. Parents seldom discuss the trauma, hold differing perceptions of roles and needs, and struggle to support each postnatally. Clinical implications and recommendations are discussed.