Kink therapy and me: Outing myself as a ‘kinky client’

I have seen SM as a key part of my identity for many years now. In fact, I feel that it forms the most stable part of my sexuality. My patterns of attraction are defined much more by the SM dynamic between myself and another person than by the gender of that person, and, therefore, I consider SM as closer to a defining sexuality, for me, than a label such as gay, straight, bi, or queer. SM has me brought joy, ecstasy, connection, self-knowledge, social connections, friendships, love and much more. In this article I want to reflect on my experience of coming out about my SM in psychotherapy.