When he is looking for joy beyond his home... The image of an unfaithful husband from Polish landed gentry according to 19th century handbooks, diaries, memoirs, social periodicals and belles-lettres

Abstract

The presented text is a catalogue of possible reasons for the infidelity of husbands from the Polish landed gentry in the 19th century, and, at the same time, a list of pieces of advice and tips for wary wives intending to enjoy a happy family life. The problem of marital infidelity was vividly reflected in the handbooks that were fashionable in the era, especially those written for brides and honeymooners, in the narrative of codes of good manners, in social and family-related journals, as well as in belles-lettres. An equally important source of information on the subject matter are diaries and letters, which give us an insight into the sphere of private life of landowners, especially into mutual relations between spouses. On the basis of such diversified sources, it is possible to recreate the mentality of that time inclined to consider husbandly infidelity as a reaction to a malfunctioning marriage, especially to the disappointment with the wife. The basis of the indulgence for betraying husbands, which was justified in all possible ways, lays in the double morality characteristic of the times in question – manifested in separate moral standards of men and women.