Dead tired and bone weary: Grandmothers as caregivers in drug affected inner city households☆

Abstract

At a time of unprecedented growth in the numbers of custodial grandparents, this case study of Emma’s household articulates the stresses inherent to the lives of many grandparents whose own children’s lives are governed by drug use and addiction. We contrast normative expectations traditionally integral to the culture of extended families with the counternormative demands that drug use imposes on households. This highlights the untenable nature of caregiving for Emma and countless others of her generation. Compelled by tradition and sentiment to help their own children, they are thus allowing drug use driven norms, values and beliefs to permeate the lives of the grandchildren in their care. Yet, they are also trying to protect those children from drugs and from the violence and conflict that drugs bring into the household. Emma’s own life illustrates the salience of norms of kinship, reciprocity and respect, and the trauma in her household demonstrates how their absence does, indeed, intensify demands and erode resources. We conclude that the imperatives of raising the next generation may necessitate a counternormative willingness on the part of grandparents to exclude their adult drug using children from their households.