Sex, Attraction, and Social Norms: Distinguishing Romantic and Non-Romantic Relationships in Non-Sexual Contexts

Abstract

Close relationships are typically distinguished by whether they are “romantic” versus “platonic” and this distinction is often based on sexual attraction and/or behavior. However, several forms of close relationships do not follow this pattern. Thus, the purpose of this research was to explore how individuals distinguish between romantic relationships and close, non-romantic relationships in non-sexual contexts. We aimed to answer the following research questions: (1) What differentiates romantic and non-romantic close relationships? (2) How do people distinguish between people they want to be in non-romantic versus romantic relationships with? and (3) Do underlying structures of romantic and non-romantic relationships differ and, if so, how? We recruited 30 individuals who were either in romantic non-sexual relationships or close non-sexual relationships that they considered to be “more than a typical ‘best friend’ relationship.” Participants completed 60-min interviews where we asked them about several aspects of their relationship (e.g., labels, development, and structure), as well as their understandings of romantic and non-romantic relationships in general. We analyzed data using template analysis and developed several themes, including: differentiators between romantic and non-romantic relationships (intimacy, type of love, interdependence, social norms, and sexuality), similarities between romantic and non-romantic relationships (importance, emotions, and behaviors), romantic attraction (interest, excitement, enaction, and intellectual connection), and similarities and differences in relational structures (commitment, effort, terms and labels, development, and conflict). Our results contribute to the growing literature on diverse relationships and specify how norms about sexuality play a role in distinguishing relationship types, even for asexual individuals.