Costs of love: a constrained utility approach to marital decisions and family outcomes

Abstract

Marriage endures as a cornerstone of social life, but its modern practice reveals a fraught entanglement of romantic ideals, financial burdens, and entrenched cultural norms. Notably, the escalating cost of weddings imposes a disproportionate economic strain, often at odds with more substantive long-term aims such as child welfare, financial resilience, and domestic stability. This study explores how the rising cost of weddings intersects with emotional, economic, and sociocultural constraints to shape marital decisions and long-term household outcomes. It introduces a constrained intertemporal utility model that conceptualizes marriage as an optimization problem. The model incorporates an objective function focused on long-term household and child well-being, constrained by factors such as income, education, wealth, emotional attachment, divorce costs, child support obligations, family norms, and cultural pressures. The analysis yields eight key propositions. The analyses suggest that financial stress from lavish weddings, delayed educational investments, and external social pressures negatively affect marital satisfaction and child outcomes. Conversely, balanced financial planning and cultural alignment are associated with greater household stability. The model highlights how economic and social trade-offs at the point of marriage formation can have enduring consequences. Policy implications include the need for broader social awareness around the economic burden of weddings and more supportive frameworks for long-term family welfare.