Ethical Sexual Regret in Men: A Discourse Analysis

Abstract

Ethical sexual regret refers to regret for acts during a sexual experience that questions one’s ethical behavior and may be an important concept in understanding and preventing sexual assault. Although sexual regret is relevant to discussions of consent and unwanted/coerced sex, few researchers have explored the concept, even fewer have explored the phenomenon in men, and none in queer men. In this discourse analytic study, we focused on male-identifying participants who were asked to write about a sexual experience about which they felt ethical regret. Discourses were categorized into five themes that informed the analysis. Several discourses revealed that heteronormative gendered social norms may offer men a way to position themselves as good men who had lapses of judgment rather than men who disregard their own morals for sexual advantage. When men were on the receiving end of sex that was uncaring, unfair, coercive or otherwise unethical, they positioned themselves as responsible for the harm, perhaps indicating a lack of availability of a victim discourse. We also noted an absence of a discourse that focused on care for the sexual partner. We discuss how examples of ethical sexual regret may guide future work related to facilitating sexually ethical encounters for men across sexual and gender identities.