Self-views converge during enjoyable conversations

Abstract

Based on current research, it is evident that the way people see themselves is shaped by their conversation partners. Historically, this literature focuses on how one individual’s expectations can shape another person’s self-views. Given the reciprocal nature of conversation, we wondered whether conversation partners’ self-views may mutually evolve. Using four-person round-robin conversation networks, we found that participants tended to have more similar self-views post-conversation than pre-conversation, an effect we term “inter-self alignment.” Further, the more two partners’ self-views aligned, the more they enjoyed their conversation and were inclined to interact again. This effect depended on both conversation partners becoming aligned. These findings suggest that the way we see ourselves is coauthored in the act of dialogue and that as shared self-views develop, the desire to continue the conversation increases.