Disqualifiers or preferences? How humans incorporate dealbreakers into mate choice

Abstract

Interest in dealbreakers has blossomed over the last decade, but we do not know how dealbreakers are used in mate choice. Here, we propose that some dealbreaker traits may act as disqualifiers, traits that we use to recognize others as potential mates. Alternatively, other dealbreaker traits may act like mate preferences and influence how attractive we find a potential mate relative to other potential mates. We use agent-based modeling and two samples of real-life couples, n = 1044, and n = 518, collected through Qualtrics' panel service, to test between these two possibilities. We find evidence that many of the traits colloquially considered to be dealbreakers, such as smoking status, height, and religion, are not used by the mind as disqualifiers, rather they act like preferences and are integrated into overall assessments of mate value. However, we find evidence that a person's sex is incorporated into mate choice like a disqualifier. Overall, considering and testing the evolved function of dealbreakers in the long-term mating process illuminates new directions for future research.