"My Mother Makes Films to Cope with Her Demons": Confronting Normality

Abstract

My daughter’s mental health condition had raised several questions about her diagnosis and recovery, and I wanted to make a film about it.  I had a rich family archive which I choose to call a ‘record’ of all that was going on around me. In addition, I was carrying my own lived experience and several years of struggle with my daughter’s condition: her hospitalizations and encounters with her doctors and therapists.  I was filming her because I didn’t know how else to cope with my situation.  I couldn’t watch the 2007 footage that I had shot during her episode until ten years after.  I began questioning the ethical reasons for documenting my daughter in that state; I also wanted to investigate the circumstances that led to her diagnosis.  Would she have ever been diagnosed if we had continued to live in India?  Could the triggers be related to her being the product of a broken home?  How can family history of mental illness be controlled?  Can the impact of illness be reversed?  Is mental illness a reality or is it a construct of society?  What is Normal?  How can my daughter claim agency in charting strategies for her own wellness?  How can she participate effectively in mainstream communities overcoming the stigma and labels?  Can art truly be instrumental in coping with mental illness and facilitate the healing process?  I could address some of the questions in the film, while others continue to be a driving force in our commitment to advocacy work through film screenings and panels.[1] This has not only proven to be a very empowering experience for both my daughter and myself, but also strengthened our relationship beyond the filial bond – giving us a strong purpose outside of our immediate circle of concern.   [1] You will find on-line links to several panels since the film’s release in 2021.