An Exhausting Job: A Story of Psychiatric Disability in University as Performativity (Dis)Rupture

Who gets to perform the identity of student? How does the process of obtaining accommodations affect a student’s sense of belonging in university? What messages do faculty attitudes send to students who seek accommodations for psychiatric disability? To facilitate addressing these questions, this article uses the fictional short story form to explore one student’s journey to receive accommodations in her classes during a manic episode of bipolar disorder. Drawing data from literature review and researcher lived experience, the story seeks to portray the complexity of navigating higher education’s disability services system. The story-as-research aims to build empathy through inviting readers to place themselves in the mind of the main character, to consider the messages she receives about (non)belonging from faculty who view accommodations from different standpoints. The article offers insight into the complex interplay of internalized stigma, passing as (dis)abled, and navigating discourses within an educational institution.             Keywords: psychiatric disability, higher education, fiction-based research, performativity, accommodations