Between the tiles: the psychology of the virtual room. Appropriating and subverting the digital sphere for authentic and meaningful encounter

ABSTRACT This paper asks how to best foster high-quality relationships in online encounter. As video-platforms have been set up to serve business purposes, not personal growth, their architectures work brilliantly for establishing content, but less so for process. As virtual rooms have become a reality, they need to be appropriated by all those aiming to support collaborative, relational and co-creative space, including the person-centered approach. The article discusses psychological online phenomena, such as disembodiment, perception of the self and others, transitioning between private/public, virtual/physical and self/other, power dynamics and how these phenomena affect our abilities to genuinely relate to ourselves and to each other. It is derived from the author’s personal experience as facilitator of online groups, meetings and counseling and the voiced experiences of participants, clients and colleagues. It offers practical and theoretical considerations for facilitation. The text is a plea for us to expand our agency within the digital sphere, whilst remaining aware of the larger socio-political challenges of the digital age, adamantly advocating for the irreplaceability of meeting in body. Striving for connection is not just the responsibility of the individual, but of us all, with the aim of shaping an inclusive, transformative culture.