Becoming a Person of Dialogue

Abstract It is imperative that Social Sciences examine in depth the underlying issues in human relations that have contributed to divisions among persons, within families, institutions, between nations and religions. If we accept that dialogue is the main currency of statecraft, diplomacy, negotiation, mediation and peacebuilding (Rieker and Turn 2015), then we need to ask ourselves, what are the characteristics of a person capable of engaging in dialogue? Are they characteristics that can be taught? Are they characteristics that make us human? In his book “Relational Being” Gergen (2009) warns of the dire consequences we face if we continue on the pathway of “rugged individualism”. He explains how our relationships have become instruments for our own satisfaction. From Freud to Skinner, psychology has described human relationships as being primarily about seeking the greatest pleasure from others. But, the so-called “freedom” that we achieve gives us a satisfaction that is transitory at best. “Freedom contains an emptiness that only relationship can fill” (Gergen, 2009, p. 20). It is essential that we find the path to discovering the true meaning of relationship and more importantly cross-racial/ethnic relationships. Jean Baker Miller described what she termed “growth-fostering relationships” (Miller, 1986), and Chodorow (2001) has developed a theory regarding development suggesting that women develop along a relational pathway whereas men follow the developmental phases that move them toward autonomy. These theorists, and others, view the relational trait to be particularly characteristic of women. A more comprehensive understanding of the nature of the human person can be attained only by taking into consideration both autonomy and relational ability as equally important. Capacity for dialogue, therefore, is an important contribution that women bring to the world stage. Women from traditionally marginalized groups offer an essential and unique perspective to this topic due to their understanding of the role of power in the dynamics of relationships. To foster cross-cultural dialogue it is important to examine the power dynamics of what it means to be honest, empathetic and collaborative across cultures. In this discussion, the authors draw upon the fields of technology, child development, feminism, and the social justice literature in an attempt to articulate the benefits of dialogue. It is far from exhaustive and provides a cursory purview of this challenging topic. It is an example of how integration among different theories can help move our literature forward in understanding a challenging topic as dialogue. It also offers a perspective on how men and women can grow in their relationship building ability, and therefore ability to dialogue, by embracing characteristics like being vulnerable, cooperative, selfless, and nurturing, relating this to the teachings of Chiara Lubich.