The meaningfulness of challenging the controlled drinking discourse. An autoethnographic study

Being able to control ones drinking is an expression of attitudes in most western societies towards the act of drinking, and if losing control, one breaks with these attitudes. This is what I call the “controlled drinking discourse.” Loss of control can be understood as any drinking of alcohol which starts a chain of reaction that is felt as a physical and psychological demand for alcohol. This is a description of how I related to alcohol for years until a complete crisis of meaning in my life in 2014. In recovery research, different kinds of “doings” are well documented as meaningful, while meaningful ways of thinking is less explored. Ways of thinking is influenced by available discourses. Through an autoethnographic approach, I explore ways of thinking with use of an analytical framework focusing on the relationship between discourses, narratives, and small stories. I also discuss theories on non-drinking, alcoholism, and recovery. Doing a discursively shift in thinking by accepting that controlled drinking is not possible, is for me a meaningful and self-sustainable way of thinking, which keeps me sober and away from crisis of meaning in my life.