‘You can’t live like I did and grow up normal’: An IPA study of how men diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD) experienced their early childhood

There is a lack of attention to how borderline personality disorder (BPD) is conceptualised and understood in relation to men. In this study a sample of men diagnosed with BPD talk about the nature of their childhood experiences allowing the reader to compassionately understand the background of these individuals. Giving voice to what could be described as a marginalised group in society underlines the need to appreciate how men may adapt to and express corresponding vulnerability in distinctive ways as dictated by gender role expectations.Six men diagnosed with BPD were interviewed about their childhood experiences. Data were analysed using IPA to explore the ways they had made sense of their early family lives.The study is part of a larger research project. One superordinate theme is presented in this paper: ‘You can’t live like I did and grow up normal’, along with two subordinate themes: ‘It certainly wasn’t the Walton’s house’ and ‘I thought I was going to die’. These themes reflect men’s experiences of living in chaotic households where physical and sexual abuse were common. Men’s attempts to adapt to these circumstances centre around the need to stay in control while experiencing out of control family circumstances.Women are much more likely to be diagnosed with BPD than men. A greater appreciation of how men cope with early trauma and corresponding emotional dysregulation is needed to broaden diagnostic criteria to more accurately capture men’s experiences. This is likely to give men greater access to long term psychotherapeutic interventions that counselling psychologists are well placed to inform and deliver.