“This is who I am”: a grounded theory of women’s assertive identity negotiation

ABSTRACT Assertiveness development in women can be hindered by gendered norms of agreeableness and passivity. Despite this, many women become assertive, although less is known about how they negotiate the process. This grounded theory examined women’s assertiveness development based on experiences of eleven, primarily post-secondary educated women from a large Western Canada university. Women currently struggling with assertiveness (n = 6) and those who once struggled but now considered themselves more assertive (n = 5) were recruited to compare the immediate experience of barriers to assertiveness and reflections on overcoming these barriers, respectively. Semi-structured interviews and an assertiveness measure were used to capture participants’ convergent and divergent experiences. Participants’ main concerns centered on a desire to be socially accepted, which precluded assertive behaviour and culminated in personal costs such as not getting needs met. Processes in resolving these concerns involved cognitive, behavioural, and social changes, and finding a purpose in life that required assertiveness. These processes form the base of Assertive Identity Negotiation theory, where women negotiate an assertive identity by continually reflecting on and committing to self-assertion while balancing interpersonal concerns.