Coping with the Loss of a Child: Evidence from Tang Funerary Writing

Abstract Based on a close reading of 118 Tang epitaphs for those who died young, this paper explores how Tang parents remembered and recounted their children's lives as well as factors that contributed to the rise of intense expression of mourning. It finds that while descriptions in epitaphs for adults largely followed Confucian ideals of life course and gender roles, the epitaphs for the young are much less formulaic, allowing space and latitude for parents and families to impart anecdotes and emotions. More importantly, it argues that the rise of epitaphs for children (especially for daughters in the ninth century) reflected a strong influence of Buddhist perception of death and Buddhist mourning rituals. As a result, Tang parents ignored the restrictions and decorum stipulated in The Book of Rites and mourned their children with outward grief, regardless their age and gender.