“Mom, I'm Polyamorous”: Parental Reactions to Polyamory Identity Disclosures

Objective

Guided by communication privacy management theory, the current study explored whether and how people who are nonmonogamous disclose their nonmonogamy to their parents, as well as parental reactions to identity disclosures.

Background

Consensual nonmonogamy (CNM) refers to the practice of openly negotiating and engaging in romantic, emotional, or sexual connections with multiple partners concurrently, with the consent of all partners involved. CNM remains highly stigmatized, contributing to CNM as a hidden social identity that often is undisclosed. As a result, people in CNM relationships must make ongoing decisions about whether, how, and why to disclose their identities and relationships to others, including to family members.

Method

We conducted interviews with 28 CNM and polyamorous people about their experiences disclosing (or not disclosing) to parents that they are nonmonogamous. Data were analyzed using grounded theory procedures.

Results

Results reveal insights into how people disclosed their CNM identity to parents, parental reactions to CNM disclosures, reasons for not disclosing to parents, and the experience of concealing CNM identities and relationships from family.

Conclusion

This study adds to emergent research on polyamory and CNM within family science and illuminates how adult children navigate their CNM identities within family contexts.