Re-patterning the Lover Dance: Chi for Two Awareness of Our Polyvagal Anatomy, “Biting/Snapping,” and Language

When lovers sense anxiousness in their bodies—and want to “bite each other’s heads off,” they might go to couples counseling for help with communication. Like parents trying to help siblings “use their words,” counselors try to help lovers talk. In couples dance/movement therapy, it is helpful to look at the physiology of language with awareness provided by the method called Chi for Two. Chi for Two—The Energetic Dance of Healthy Relationship was originated by a long-time dance/movement therapist. It synthesizes knowledge of nervous system functioning, infant development, and trauma patterning, which is passed down over generations, plus how the therapeutic relationship shifts attachment styles. Dance/movement therapists who have this knowledge can help lovers recognize when their interactions awaken unfinished infant/parent dances involving the “biting/snapping” rhythm from the Kestenberg Movement Profile system, adapted for Chi for Two. (The authors use the word “lovers” to name people who are engaging in mutually consensual sexual sharing with one another.) The biting/snapping rhythm is key in articulating language. When lovers can recognize what is happening in their bodies during their efforts to use words, they can learn to bring the bite/snap infant movement expressions to dance/movement therapists to work through those moves. When lovers work through the infant movement patterns with the dance/movement therapist in the presence of a romantic partner, but not acted out with the romantic partner, lovers can celebrate their partners’ bravery in doing their individual healing and relational re-patterning.