Improved self‐ and relational regulation: The relationship with the client changes the therapist

Several contemporary models of psychotherapy demand psychotherapists and counsellors to navigate an intensely personal involvement with clients. This study considers how this personal involvement impacts the clinician as a person.We interviewed practitioners about how working with clients in a one‐on‐one therapeutic setting changed them.A grounded theory analysis of interviews with behavioural and cognitive therapists (N = 14; 9 women, 5 men) was carried out.Working with clients may improve practitioners' self‐regulation by generating a clearer view of themselves, providing strategies for effective living and facilitating self‐compassion. These changes are often either clinical work's unavoidable effects or gains from accidental exposure to clients' contents. Clinical work may also improve practitioners' relationships by demonstrating the value of and providing strategies for managing one's input in crucial relationships and non‐judgemental acceptance. Improved relational regulation often occurs as unavoidable learning or results from intentional emulation. Both self‐regulation and relational regulation may contribute to clinical competency. Professionals can also unintentionally reproduce client quirks and accidentally learn practical tips. Possible implications are discussed.Clients' influence on counsellors and psychotherapists deserves attention in psychotherapy research, training and supervision.