Gutted: Three Poems on Irregular Stomachs

Poetry already exists that broaches taboo or extreme topics for women such as abortion, rape or domestic abuse (Petit, 2001, 2010; Moore, 2015, 2021). Chronic illness and/or disability are being explored too (Sluman-Brenchi, 2015, 2021; Atkin, 2021), with cancer being arguably the most common illness addressed (Darling, 2003). But whilst the extremes of surgery, hospitals and blood are now shown, bodily functions of the guts are rarely depicted. Matthew Seigel does end his collection Blood Work, sitting on a toilet – but he is passing blood. Poo and vomit still appear taboo. My PhD supervisor once asked why I didn’t write about my childhood. I said I’d had a happy childhood and did not feel compelled to explore it. Yet, I found primary school difficult because other children sometimes found me…disgusting. For the longest time I had no proper name for my affliction. Heartburn or reflux are milder versions; regurgitation or vomiting come closer. Poets such as Kathleen Jamie (2000) have said that a poet needs to give themselves “permission” to approach difficult subjects, whilst Eavan Boland has spoken of needing to de-centre herself and write from a position of defeat, from the margins rather than from authority (2006). Regurgitation is not readily poetic, and I had to overcome my own embarrassment/defeat and find a ‘way in’ that worked. I found that locating an additional subject axis (the Tin Woodman story, the science of vultures, a family photo album) illuminated my physical experiences in ways that made the poems feel permissible rather than gratuitous.