A RUDE AWAKENING

Siamak Kazemeini-Monfared got a lift to work the other day. He can't drive any more. He lost his licence because he snores. Read on. Sam runs a recycling company in Scarborough; he collects used computers and ships them to India where they are harvested of precious metals and usable parts. We were sitting in his office the other day. He said, "I'm a man. I snore a little. One day my wife said, `You snore a lot. Why don't you go to the doctor?'" A man does as his wife suggests. Sam said, "I don't know if the snoring is a problem. I sleep like a baby, nine hours every night. I wake up every morning at 7:25 sharp. I sleep fine. I've slept through bombs. But my wife wanted me to go to the doctor, so I –" Wait a second. Bombs? "When Iraq was bombing Iran, I was there. I slept through it. No kidding. My wife woke me up. She said, `They're dropping bombs.' I don't have a problem sleeping." Clearly, he does not. He said, "I sleep so good you can't believe it. I'm always fresh and peppy in the morning." Who among us can say the same? Sam said, "Anyway, I went to the doctor, and he sent me to a sleep clinic. I slept there a couple of times. They put some equipment on me and they sent me to a specialist who gave me some other tests. I had to blow in a tube. I was blowing as hard as I can. The specialist gave me a phone number to get this machine." Sam unpacked what seemed to be a gas mask connected by means of a vacuum-cleaner hose to a small humidifier. He clamped the mask on his face. It made him look like an elephant. He took off the mask and said, "My first reaction? I'm not going to get a machine; are you going to sleep next to your wife with this thing on your face?" I took his point.