The Legal Protection of Ordinary Deception in Courtship, Sex, and Marriage

This chapter explores the law’s commitment to preserving the existing norms and practices that shape courtship, sex, and marriage. Judges are much less likely to provide remedies for examples of intimate deception they believe are commonplace and more likely to give remedies in cases they think are deviant and unusual. When judges assume that many forms of deceit are typical in courtship, sex, and marriage, they help make that so—normalizing the deception by protecting it from legal disapproval and redress. This dedication to safeguarding ordinary deception in intimate relationships has also functioned to protect extraordinary deceit. Courts have sometimes denied remedies for admittedly egregious intimate deception out of concern that providing redress might create a slippery slope that would ultimately jeopardize more ordinary deceivers. Indeed, the judicial commitment to shielding commonplace intimate deception has even helped defendants who deceived business competitors or government officials.