Editor’s essay: Making mentors

Abstract

Sometimes, when one gets to a certain age or stage in life, some people want to know the history behind the present, perhaps to glean insights for their own evolution, or possibly to craft conjectures on the possible evolutions of others. As I reflect on my own journey into a more-authentic self, I think about how hard I’ve worked, how lucky I’ve been to have strong family and employer support, and how grateful I feel to all my mentors. Without question, no one gets to where they are without lots of help from lots of people. By definition, a mentor is someone who has more experience than you, that you trust to give you advice. In my personal and professional lives, I’ve been the recipient of tons and tons of advice, usually from people with more experience (or at least more opinions) than myself in a given area. Typically, the advice is well intentioned, and very often, the input is helpful. Sometimes, I’m also asked for advice or to be a mentor to others, which can be tricky. Because, really, a person can only become someone’s mentor when they are permitted to do so, that is, when a mentor’s advice is sincerely requested, genuinely received and intentionally reflected on. In other words, the power to transform an advice-giver into a mentor lies with the advice-receiver. The mentee makes the transformation happen, perhaps by acting on the advice, or by giving it serious consideration, or even just by absorbing it into their ways of thinking, seeing, or being. Some of my own mentors have never actually given me advice, per se. They just are who they are, and I’ve grown in myself simply from observing them. Sometimes, these “passive mentors,” as I like to think of them, are positional or reputational leaders in the academic discipline, or at my institution, or within my myriad communities of identity, affection, or commitment. Sometimes, they are my peers in life or learning. And sometimes they are travelers on paths I may have already taken, but to which they’ve brought their own insights and wisdom. The bottom line is that my mentors (and yours) are everywhere. Any one of us can be someone’s mentor, either by proactively looking out for them, by responsively and responsibly advising them, or even just by passively modeling for them something they might be needing or seeking in the moment – the latter simply by being our full, whole selves. Thank you to all my mentors, those from my past, those in my present, and those still to be revealed in my future, with special appreciation for those mentors who have graciously permitted me to continue evolving past the point where they felt their advice would be helpful. Because of you – all of y’all – I continue on that lifelong journey of becoming (cf. Hall, 1994).