South African LGBTPQ Youth: The Perceptions and Realities of Coming out and Parental Reactions

Abstract

Abstract The study engages with several lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, pansexual and queer (LGBTPQ) identifying youth in South Africa to explore their perceptions and realities regarding coming out to their parents and parental reactions. In-depth interviews were utilized to engage with the 17 participants, aged 19 to 32 years old, all of whom were students at the same university in South Africa. The study found that participants who have not come out tended to view coming out as a problematic act that reproduces the heteronormative discourse of sexuality in which heterosexuality is normalized, while same-sex sexuality is seen as odd and as deviant. The study also found that many participants perceived coming out as an individual choice. However, the choice of whether or not to come out, when to come out, and which parent to come out to, is dependent on 1. the nature of the relationship the participants have with their parents, and 2. perceived parental reactions. Analysis reveals how religion, gender norms based on heteronormativity, and parent-child relationship dynamics intersect to shape participants’ perceptions regarding parental reactions. This intersectionality also shaped the realities of coming out. Such realities involved a variety of reactions from parents, including acceptance, rejection, forms of violence, and silence. Parents reacting with silence was a common, yet complex experience among the participants. The participants’ experiences suggest ways through which they could be empowered to cope better with their parents’ silence and other non-supportive reactions.