Stewart’s Tree

Abstract

This is an attractively illustrated book for very young children, three years and older, which deals with the painful and sensitive situation of the death of a baby brother or sister just after birth. There is very little literature available aimed specifically at young children who are bereaved in this way so in that respect it is a very welcome addition. As with all books for this age group, there are more pictures than words, and adults reading the book to small children need to be able to extrapolate and wonder with the child about what is going on based on visual or verbal clues; ‘ What’s happening here?’, ‘Do you remember when we were in the hospital?’ and so on. Although there is a short section at the back with edited extracts from a Sands (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Charity) publication, I could imagine grieving parents, stunned by grief as they often are, might overlook that; it might have been better to put that information at the beginning. Quite a lot of space is devoted to the often misunderstood idea of ‘losing’ the baby and this is good. I think other unhelpful but commonly used expressions could have been incorporated however ‘going to sleep’ being the obvious example. Children at three or four cannot understand the permanency of death and this isn’t really addressed either which is a shame. I really liked the idea of a cot as a spaceship and the illustration is lovely; that seems an inspired choice. Equally good is the description of how Stewart wasn’t strong enough to live outside of Mummy’s tummy which avoids later worries the surviving sibling may have of being ill or catching something. Explaining death through the loss of senses is usually helpful for young children and this is done well, as is the message he will never be forgotten. The ‘d’ word is used once, which is helpful, but perhaps could have been used more often or in other forms ‘died’ and so on. The link to confusion about what happens is implied well (Why are all these cards arriving? Why are people bringing soup?’) but I feel could have been made more explicit. Indeed the most obvious absence is the lack of reference to any feelings, either from the parents or relatives or from the child’s point of view and I think this is a real drawback. The illustrations could really have been used well here to show the range of feelings but they are rather neutral or ambiguous. Small children really need to be helped with giving words to the feelings they will observe in others and feel in themselves. Neither is there a reference to a funeral or where his body is now. In that respect the book might need to be complemented with other publications. 