Love in the time of COVID-19: How couples stayed ‘at home’ during the first lockdown in Italy

Abstract

ABSTRACT How did the initial COVID-19 lockdown affect family life in terms of household chores, childcare, finances, communication, sexuality and other spheres of a romantic relationship? How do these issues differ based on whether the couple is in a long-distance relationship, dating but not living together, or is married or cohabitating, with or without children? Drawing on a virtual ethnography of Italian social-media communities, sixteen follow-up online interviews with eight adult couples and a discussion of their ‘Corona diaries’, this contribution extends a practice-based approach to focus on couples’ experiences, feelings and coping strategies during the COVID-19 lockdown temporalities of Spring 2020 in Italy. Forced self-isolation eroded feelings of ontological safety, making especially non-cohabiting partners feel even more vulnerable to the stress of contagion risk and loneliness. This phenomenon in some cases even de-romanticized the relationship to avoid feeling the lack of the partner. On the contrary, cohabiting couples revealed a discomfort linked to ‘domestic gravity’ and daily crowding, or the difficulty of safeguarding small moments of solitude. Conflicts were particularly exacerbated when partners had to reconcile agile work, childcare and domestic work. Working mothers with young children are among those most affected by the increased workload and resulting frustration.