It’s not my fault, it’s yours: shame, loss, and the ego ideal in work with adoptive couples

IF 0.4 Q4 PSYCHOLOGY, CLINICAL

JOURNAL OF CHILD PSYCHOTHERAPY Pub Date : 2022-05-04 DOI:10.1080/0075417X.2022.2075433

S. Cregeen

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引用次数: 0

Abstract

ABSTRACT Work with adoptive parents can be complex due to the multiple experiences of loss often carried by the adopted children and by the adoptive parental couple. This paper explores some of the emotional states and dynamics these experiences of loss give rise to, with a specific focus on the parental couple relationship. The case is made for the efficacy of psychotherapy with the couple, the difficulties of managing losses which can generate feelings of shame, and the projective use of blame within the couple and family as a way of evacuating unbearable emotional states. The concept of ego ideal is reviewed, and the need for adoptive couples to relinquish and mourn what is conceptualised as a shared ego ideal. The creation of a more realistic ego ideal is described as a particular aspect of the process of moving from the couple imagining themselves as birth parents, to their aspirations as an adoptive couple. Clinical material is used to illustrate how shame may manifest itself in an adopted child in psychotherapy, and in work with adoptive couples. The inevitably painful nature of mourning, and work with a couple struggling with this, is described.

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这不是我的错，是你的错:羞耻，失落，以及对收养夫妇的自我理想

摘要与养父母的工作可能会很复杂，因为养子女和养父母夫妇经常会经历多种损失。本文探讨了这些失去的经历所引发的一些情绪状态和动态，特别关注父母和夫妇的关系。该案例针对的是对夫妇进行心理治疗的有效性，管理可能产生羞耻感的损失的困难，以及在夫妇和家庭内部投射性地使用指责来疏散难以忍受的情绪状态。回顾了自我理想的概念，以及收养夫妇放弃和哀悼被概念化为共同自我理想的必要性。创造一个更现实的自我理想被描述为从一对夫妇想象自己是亲生父母，到他们渴望成为一对收养夫妇的过程中的一个特殊方面。临床材料被用来说明羞耻感如何在心理治疗和收养夫妇的工作中表现在被收养的孩子身上。描述了哀悼不可避免的痛苦性质，以及与一对为此而挣扎的夫妇的合作。

本文章由计算机程序翻译，如有差异，请以英文原文为准。

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来源期刊

JOURNAL OF CHILD PSYCHOTHERAPY PSYCHOLOGY, CLINICAL-

CiteScore

0.70

自引率

50.00%

发文量

期刊介绍： The Journal of Child Psychotherapy is the official journal of the Association of Child Psychotherapists, first published in 1963. It is an essential publication for all those with an interest in the theory and practice of psychoanalytic psychotherapy and work with infants, children, adolescents and their parents where there are emotional and psychological problems. The journal also deals with the applications of such theory and practice in other settings or fields The Journal is concerned with a wide spectrum of emotional and behavioural disorders. These range from the more severe conditions of autism, anorexia, depression and the traumas of emotional, physical and sexual abuse to problems such as bed wetting and soiling, eating difficulties and sleep disturbance.