Can the 'Deathbed Etiquette' guide support friends and family to navigate the dying process? A qualitative study examining the views of bereaved people.

Abstract

Background: How people experience the death of a friend or relative is impacted by their knowledge of what to expect when someone is dying and how prepared they feel. Deathbed Etiquette is a written resource providing information about the dying process to support friends and relatives through this experience.

Objective: To explore the views of bereaved people on the guide Deathbed Etiquette.

Design: Qualitative study, utilising semi structured interviews.

Methods: Participants were recruited through a hospice and hospital in the Northwest of England and social media between December 2023 and March 2025. Framework analysis was used to analyse the data.

Results: Bereaved participants (n=22) expressed a sense of reassurance from the guide and felt that this additional written information would have been valuable. Content identified as particularly important included what the dying process physically looks like, uncertainty, what to expect after death and the needs of friends, relatives and children. The importance of an individualised approach was recognised; a generic guide may not adequately meet everybody's needs and cultural and religious variations are not addressed in the guide. There was mixed feedback on the format of the guide, with suggestions for change. The guide should be delivered alongside a sensitive conversation with a healthcare professional and would be most beneficial when dying occurs at home. It could also be freely available in public spaces, to improve death literacy.

Conclusion: Deathbed Etiquette is a useful tool to improve the experience of those supporting a friend or relative at the end of life. However, changes should be made to improve its usefulness and accessibility. An individual approach to information provision is needed and one guide cannot meet the needs of everyone. The findings can be applied more widely to other resources, however limitations in religious and cultural generalisability should be considered.