Deceptive Hearts: Insecure Attachment and Motives Underlying Deception in Romantic Relationships

Abstract

ABSTRACT This research examines how attachment‐related insecurity relates to the motives underlying deceptive behavior. In Study 1 ( n = 926), we developed the Motives for Romantic Deception Scale (MRDS), identifying seven distinct motives: malicious intent, attention seeking, conflict avoidance, emotional appeasement, mistake concealment, privacy protection, and sexual avoidance. A follow‐up validation study ( n = 740) provided strong evidence of the scale's convergent and discriminant validity. In Study 2 ( n = 549), we explored the associations between these motives and attachment anxiety and avoidance. As hypothesized, avoidant attachment was positively associated with motives implying emotional distance and autonomy, while anxious attachment was positively related to motives reflecting insecurity and a need for reassurance—patterns that reflect theoretical interpretations rather than direct measures of closeness or autonomy. Unexpectedly, anxious attachment was also positively associated with conflict avoidance and malicious intent. These findings are discussed in the ways attachment dynamics underlie deceptive behavior, and our results suggest that even seemingly prosocial motives may reflect self‐protective strategies.