The individual, relational and societal costs of striving to feel good

Abstract

Striving to feel good is natural. Although this pursuit can come with benefits, striving to feel good also comes with important costs for the self, others and even the broader community. In this Review, I summarize the literature on these costs. First, I consider the emotions people want to feel — that is, the emotions people believe are valuable. Valuing (or devaluing) an emotion does not mean someone is able to attain (or avoid) it, and the process of valuing can itself have costs for the self, others and community. Next, I consider the emotions people are able to achieve (or avoid) — that is, the emotions people cultivate within themselves through emotion regulation. Many different emotions help people achieve their valued goals, and people can hinder their goals by avoiding (or attaining) particular emotions, ultimately leading to negative consequences for the self and the broader community. Finally, I discuss future directions that span disciplines, highlighting the broad applicability and relevance of considering the costs of striving to feel good across domains in psychological science. Examining the trade-offs involved in striving to feel good can highlight more effective strategies to protect well-being for both individuals and the broader community. Striving for positive emotions and avoiding negative emotions are often associated with well-being benefits, but can come with costs for the self, others and the broader community. In this Review, Ford describes these costs in terms of the emotions people value (or devalue) and the emotions they seek to achieve (or avoid) via emotion regulation.