“Ableist Fragility” and Chronic Stress in a Non-Autistic Parent Memoir from Germany1

Abstract

This essay defines “ableist fragility” in the context of non-autistic parenting of autistic children through an analysis of Tessa Korber's memoir Ich liebe dich nicht, aber ich möchte es mal können (2012). Ableist fragility draws directly from the term fragility in Robin DiAngelo's White Fragility (2018). Informed by anti-racist and disability justice critiques of systemic ableism, the essay explores the roles explicit and implicit bias and notions of neurotypicality play in shaping parental identity and non-autistic parent-autistic child relationships. It draws connections between systemic ableism and fragility as one cause of chronic stress experienced by many non-autistic parents of autistic children. Caregiver supports focus on the child and engage less with caregiver emotional literacy, well-being, and embodied mental health. Ableist fragility functions as a starting point for non-autistic parents/caregivers and others to identify and process distress created by their own explicit or implicit ableism in an inherently ableist society.