From childhood deprivation to losing their own children to adoption: Poverty, trauma and adoption among marginalized mothers in Israel

Abstract

This study examines the experiences of Israeli mothers who lost their children to adoption, exploring the socio-economic, gendered, and institutional factors influencing these decisions and their profound emotional consequences. Through interviews with 20 mothers, the research sheds light on their complex life circumstances, marked by poverty, neglect, abuse, and limited parental role models. Many pregnancies occurred under exploitative or abusive conditions, and adoption decisions often lacked genuine choice, influenced by coercion from partners, families, or social services.

The findings highlight the ideological expectations of “ideal motherhood” that marginalized these women, portraying them as unfit due to their socio-economic status and life hardships. Adoption was frequently perceived as a traumatic event, akin to life-long grief, exacerbated by societal stigma and insufficient systemic support. The research underscores the long-term emotional toll on mothers, characterized by ongoing victimhood, post-traumatic behaviors, and hyper-vigilant parenting of subsequent children, driven by fear of additional losses.

Adoption practices are critiqued for perpetuating cycles of disadvantage, often disregarding the structural inequalities that underpin maternal hardship. The study advocates for trauma-informed, feminist approaches to welfare and adoption policies, emphasizing family preservation, early intervention, and robust support systems to empower mothers and address systemic inequities.

By amplifying the voices of marginalized mothers, this research calls for reform in adoption policies to prioritize holistic care and respect for maternal autonomy, aiming to mitigate the enduring emotional and social impact of child adoption.