Successful Aging and the Nonagenarian Community Servant

Abstract

The people of western North Carolina, struggling to recover from hurricane Helene, the most devastating natural disaster in the recorded history of the area, recently received an assist from an unusual source. As soon as the governor announced that nonemergency travel to the area was allowed again, Robert “Bob” Sink leapt into action. Over the past two decades and along with others in our church congregation, Bob has many times loaded up a dedicated disaster recovery trailer they have equipped with generators, chainsaws, and other tools, and traveled throughout the United States to spend several weeks helping with cleanup, clearing, rebuilding, and other recovery efforts following a natural disaster. Bob and the other members of the team have made dozens of such trips, including following in the aftermaths of the devastating hurricanes Katrina in 2006 and Floyd in 1999.

However, the disaster recovery team's youngest member is now nearing age 80, and Bob is 93 years old. So, in the aftermath of Helene, the team decided on a different approach this time—they would quickly refurbish the trailer, fill it with donated equipment and supplies, and take it to Boone, North Carolina, to donate to an awaiting disaster recovery organization.

While other team members were collecting goods, including electrical generators and kerosene heaters, Bob went to work on the trailer. He replaced all the old wooden floorboards, cleaned out all the mildew and mold, greased the axles, repaired the taillights, located the registration, and helped find the title to the trailer they had purchased decades ago, so it could be officially transferred to the new organization.

This is what Bob has done all his life—he cares for and helps others and enthusiastically serves his community. He served in the army signal corps during the Korean conflict. Afterward, he became a public servant for the city of Lexington, North Carolina, as superintendent for natural gas. Although he retired over 35 years ago, the staff at his former department still call him for help and advice. My favorite example is a phone call he received a few months ago. “Bob, can you remember the location of the natural gas connection near Main Steet?” Without hesitation, Bob replied, “Well, we installed it in ’67. It should be 14 feet east of the stop sign at the southwest corner of Sixth and Main, 6 feet below the pavement grade, and connected with a brass collar.” Indeed, that is where it was found, 57 years after Bob supervised its installation.

Bob married his high school sweetheart, Louise, in 1953. They had delayed marriage for 4 years while Louise finished nursing school (marriage was forbidden for nursing students at the time) and Bob finished his military service. They were married 64 years before Louise died 7 years ago at age 86. When Louise developed multiple severe medical problems, including heart failure and multiple debilitating strokes, I started checking on Bob regularly after church on Sundays to ask if there was anything I could do to help them. Nearly always, Bob had it under control. He somehow figured out creative ways to deal with every new problem that arose. When Louise became totally incapacitated, he got a hospital bed for their living room and attended her nearly 24/7, except for periodic breaks provided by their children. Everyone worried about Bob because at the time he was well into his late 80s. However, he never seemed even a bit flustered, fatigued, or frustrated; he simply carried on, doing what was needed to care for the love of his life. It was not grim determination as one might expect; instead, Bob approached this role with aplomb. I was filled with admiration.

I've since learned that over the years, Bob has capably cared for many other persons in his family and the community in their declining years. He has had many opportunities to do so. Among 75 family members in his generation, only 9 survive. In the evenings, he often serves as a volunteer greeter at one of the local funeral homes. He says it is an opportunity to help and provide comfort to others during some of their most difficult moments.

Bob is a passionate, committed supporter of Habitat for Humanity, an international nonprofit organization that brings people together to build homes and communities in order to eliminate homelessness. Recently, the 25th house he has personally helped build was finished (Figure 1). He serves on the local Habitat for Humanity Board of Directors, is capable of performing every task needed to build a house, and often serves as the crew foreman. When he is not working at Habitat or the funeral home, taking care of someone who is sick or disabled, or consulting for a natural gas company, Bob is often building a wheel-chair ramp for an older person in the community who has become disabled (he has built 20 of these to date) or restoring his vintage 1931 Nash automobile, which was produced the year he was born.

Perhaps because he is so active, Bob has enjoyed relatively good health, though it might be vice versa. However, earlier this year and only 6 months after a pulmonary embolism, he was helping build a new Habitat house and became lightheaded. Others at the site, noting that he looked pale, insisted he go rest in his parked car, where he had a syncopal spell. He was found to have a hemoglobin of 7.2 g/dL. I was amazed at the thought of a 93-year-old building a Habitat house not long after a pulmonary embolism and with a hemoglobin that low, and who had been minimally symptomatic until the event. His Eliquis was discontinued, and his anemia resolved. He had Covid last year and was sick for barely a week. This year he had a pneumonia and spent a few days in the hospital. Bob is resilient and tough.

On a recent Sunday at worship service, Bob was characteristically well dressed in his suit and tie, with his upright posture, square jaw, crewcut hair, warm smile, and sparkling eyes, mingling with everyone and hugging babies (Figure 2). He exuded his typical affable, outgoing, friendly, engaging personality. I always wondered why he sat in the very last pew at the back of the church, closest to the door. He told me he started sitting there in the early 1980s when he bought a video camera to tape the church services and deliver the recordings to shut-ins. While that has been replaced with Facebook Live, he still prefers that location because that is where he can be of maximal help. Whenever a newcomer enters, Bob is there to greet them and help them find a seat. If anyone becomes sick and heads toward the door, Bob is there to help. Bob even keeps a butane lighter at his pew to help the youth light the procession candles they carry at the beginning of the service.

Bob has many characteristics of “successful aging.” He is now > 20 years older than the average lifespan of a US male born in 1931, and has survived > 90% of his family's generation. He has also escaped the “widower effect” whereby older persons, particularly males, experience a dramatically increased rate of death in the years following loss of their spouse, and can experience long-term adverse effects including depression, loneliness, isolation, and multiple chronic health problems [1]. When asked his key to health and longevity, Bob states that it is staying active, getting out of the house, helping others, and serving his community.

Upon reviewing the manuscript draft for this article, the Geriatrics Department administrator who frequently helps edit my essays had the following pertinent remarks, which typify our universal response to “successful agers” like Bob. “People like Bob are such a treasure! We have a person like this in my faith community as well—a 93-year-old woman who still works in an office every day, dresses ‘to the nines’ (complete with a hat) every day, keeps the nursery, teaches Sunday school, visits shut-ins, has dinner parties in her home, bakes homemade goods, takes food to people, has an amazing soul and truly loves people and serving her community. I hope that I will age successfully enough to be like her!”

Don't we all?

Dr. Kitzman is the sole author.

The sponsor had no input into development of the manuscript.

The author declares no conflicts of interest.