Crossfade, and: my eyes phosphene bodies beneath my hips, and: the devil's wives

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• Crossfade, and: my eyes phosphene bodies beneath my hips, and: the devil's wives
• Nitajade (bio)

CROSSFADE

Ancestor visits your sleep \ asks if you have something to say \ pauses long enough to hear your answer \ makes space for you to sit \ Ancestor challenges your tongue \ to split in testimony \\ in waking life \ when you voice your visitor \ all your mama hears is thisisit! \ her tone insists \ tellmewhohurtyou! \ tellme!tellme!tellme!say! \ call them out and \ i'll call away they breath \\ you can't remember vividly \ enough to gamble lives on \\ yet, you know your molestation(s) \ the same way you know \ your names: one day out the blue \ they were called on you \\ syllables swallowed \ so often \ you can't recall \ the first time \ you spoke them \ (your names \ not theirs) \\ your mama needs \ rescinded-stamped confession \ your mama needs \\ un-gulped wine \ she needs \ un-inhaled blunt \ she needs \ unmarred midnight moon \ a trick of the light \ illusions of successful safety \ smoke in mirrors \ your mama needs erasure \\ until your tongue reverses \ or (un)splits \ she will never stop \ reaching \ for their names. [End Page 43]

Ancestor visits your sleep \ asks if you have something to say \ pauses long enough to hear your answer \ makes space for you to sit \ Ancestor challenges your tongue \ to split in testimony \\ in waking life \ when you voice your visitor \ all your mama hears is thisisit! \ her tone insists \ tellmewhohurtyou! \ tellme!tellme!tellme!say! \ call them out and \ i'll call away they breath \\ you can't remember vividly \ enough to gamble lives on \\ yet, you know your molestation(s) \ the same way you know \ your names: one day out the blue \ they were called on you \\ syllables swallowed \ so often \ you can't recall \ the first time \ you spoke them \ (your names \ not theirs) \\ your mama needs \ a rescinded-stamped confession \ your mama needs \\ un-gulped wine \ she needs \ un-inhaled blunt \ she needs \ unmarred midnight moon \ a trick of the light \ illusions of successful safety \ smoke in mirrors \ your mama needs erasure \\ until your tongue reverses \ or (un)splits \ she will never stop \ reaching \ for their names. [End Page 44]

Ancestor visits your sleep \ asks if you have something to say \ pauses long enough to hear your answer \ makes space for you to sit \ Ancestor challenges your tongue \ to split in testimony \\ in waking life \ when you voice your visitor \ all your mama hears is thisisit! \ her tone insists \ tellmewhohurtyou! \ tellme!tellme!tellme!say! \ call them out and \ i'll call away they breath \\ you can't remember vividly \ enough to gamble lives on \\ yet, you know your molestation(s) \ the same way you know \ your names: one day out the blue \ they were called on you \\ syllables swallowed \ so often \ you can't recall \ the first time \ you spoke them \ (your names \ not theirs) \\ your mama needs \ a rescinded-stamped confession \ your mama needs \\ un-gulped wine \ she needs \ un-inhaled blunt \ she needs \ unmarred midnight moon \ a trick of the light \ illusions of successful safety \ smoke in mirrors \ your mama needs erasure \\ until your tongue reverses \ or (un)splits \ she will never stop \ reaching \ for their names. [End Page 45]

MY EYES PHOSPHENE BODIES BENEATH MY HIPS

& my arms can erase & conjure.see them in action:

one arm deletes light,drapes across vision,blocks morning sun.

other arm nestlesdown warm-thick belly,calls up pools in private

tongue recalls melting whimpers into thank yous

here is where incantationscast like pairs of dice. whereunremembered / unforgotten

hands are hexed. shamed stonesgag up & out of throats herethe sin is good,

is daily worship, is sal(i)vation, is here & here & there & right there & [End Page 46]

THE DEVIL'S WIVES

today, we divine our walk,our uphill saunters, thunder-clappedbrown skin bolted

in storms. we praise sweatcollecting about our shoulders.glistenin,' throwin' backsun's glow in witty retort

we rejoice rain, clever dropsswirling with water we makeestuary by happenstance

we praise phenomenatrickling along our chests,salted rivers forkingtributaries around areolas

join us in worship: streamsbegetting creeks begettingsprings at our navels,

our...