Losing Ty

IF 0.1 4区 历史学 0 HUMANITIES, MULTIDISCIPLINARY
Lorna Milne
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引用次数: 0

Abstract

In lieu of an abstract, here is a brief excerpt of the content:

  • Losing Ty
  • Lorna Milne (bio)

Look at the gift of being, now . . . And what will our time leave?

—Robert Macfarlane, geophysicist and author

How much evidence needs to be present before something is done? And who gets to decide?

—Sandra Steingraber, biologist and author

On a cool spring day in 1967, our parents away on a trip, we lose our little brother Ty John. I’m not sure why we called Ty by his first two names, likely because Mom did. Sometimes we simply said TJ, a hard and soft sound with a lyrical ring to it. When we were in a hurry, it was simply Ty. At any rate, Ty is missing, and our parents aren’t home to lead the search through our eastern Montana town.

None of us four older children remember the babysitter from that weekend. Perhaps it is Mrs. Hehn, who is kind and never spanks us. She also bakes gingerbread cookies, laying them out on racks to cool before helping us decorate them. Our parents rarely go away— once a year at most. And Ty getting lost is no fault of the babysitter. He’s a hard child to keep track of.

I look in all our hiding spots in the backyard, then scour the neighborhood. I play with my brothers; I know their haunts.

As time goes on with no sign of him, the search intensifies. Mrs. Hehn asks for help from other adults in the neighborhood. My mother’s best friend drives up and questions me: where did I last see Ty? The babysitter calls the police, who stop by in their black car to question us as well. I overhear the babysitter ask the police if she should ring our parents, which makes me think of the river. Two blocks from our house flows the Yellowstone River. Ty loves to fish at the river; however, at age three he’s too young to go alone. We are most certainly not allowed to go in the spring, when the banks aren’t exposed.

My sister Darcy and I, ages eight and nine, walk down the hill to the river. Standing on the high bank I fear Ty is lost for good. Huge blocks of ice crash and swirl downstream. In 1967 breakup of the Yellowstone was an event. Townspeople congregated along the hilltops to watch the drama of ice-cake collision; our friends who lived close to the river evacuated their homes. The county sheriff woke Dad in the middle of the night if the water crested the railroad embankment behind his farm implement business. We’d hear Dad hurriedly dress and leave to move machinery out of the path of overflow and ice. All this is far from my mind as I peer over the edge looking for a small boy [End Page 419] making his way down the deer path with his fishing pole. The image is impossible, though, as ice wedges litter the hillside and the bank is underwater.


Click for larger view
View full resolution Fig. 1.

Ty, Brenda, and the author in western Alaska, autumn 1982. Author photo.

Trudging home with a knot of despair in my gut, I hear cries of relief coming from our backyard. Ty is found! Darcy and I run up the street and through the backyard gate to see him standing by our toy box, the lid propped open. Flushed, Ty repeats, “I breathed through the hole.”

I pick him up and scold him, “Didn’t you hear us calling?”

To this day, Darcy thinks Ty hid from us in plain sight. I think he crawled into the toy box to hide, then fell asleep. Or he was too young to lift the lid. He is only found when someone hears him call out.

_______

Years later, in the days after my brother died, I forgot appointments, walked through a construction zone unawares, ran a red light, forgot the names of good friends. I had little sense of how my day fit together, or how it should. I was, as they say, grief-stricken. Struck by grief.

Sixteen months earlier, when I learned that our fifty-one-year-old brother had...

失去 Ty
以下是内容的简要摘录,以代替摘要: Losing Ty Lorna Milne (bio) 看看存在的礼物,现在......。地球物理学家、作家罗伯特-麦克法兰(Robert Macfarlane) 在做某件事之前,需要多少证据?由谁来决定?在 1967 年一个凉爽的春天,父母外出旅行,我们失去了弟弟泰-约翰。我不知道我们为什么要叫泰的前两个名字,可能是因为妈妈叫他的前两个名字。有时,我们干脆叫他 TJ,声音软硬适中,带着抒情的韵味。当我们着急的时候,就直接叫泰。无论如何,泰失踪了,我们的父母不在家,无法带领我们在蒙大拿东部的小镇上寻找。我们四个大孩子都不记得那个周末的保姆了。也许是海恩太太吧,她和蔼可亲,从不打我们的屁股。她还会烤姜饼,把它们放在架子上冷却,然后帮我们装饰。我们的父母很少出远门,最多一年一次。泰走失也不是保姆的错。他是个很难找的孩子。我找遍了后院所有的藏身之处,然后又找遍了附近的邻居。我和哥哥们一起玩,我知道他们的藏身之处。随着时间的推移,我没有发现他的踪迹,于是加紧寻找。海恩太太向邻居的其他大人求助。我母亲最好的朋友开车来问我:我最后一次见到泰是在哪里?保姆给警察打了电话,警察也开着黑车过来询问我们。我无意中听到保姆问警察是否应该打电话给我们的父母,这让我想起了那条河。离我们家两个街区远的地方流淌着黄石河。泰喜欢在河边钓鱼,但他才三岁,还不能独自去。我们当然不能在春天去,因为那时河岸还没有露出来。我和八九岁的妹妹达茜走下山,来到河边。站在高高的河岸上,我担心泰已经永远消失了。巨大的冰块撞击着河水,向下游涌去。1967 年,黄石河断流是一件大事。镇民们聚集在山顶观看冰饼相撞的场面;我们住在河边的朋友纷纷撤离家园。如果水位超过了爸爸农具生意后面的铁路堤坝,县警长就会在半夜叫醒爸爸。我们会听到爸爸匆忙穿好衣服离开,把机器搬离溢流和结冰的路径。当我俯身寻找一个拿着鱼竿在鹿道上奔跑的小男孩 [查看全文 第 419 页] 时,这一切都已远离我的脑海。但这是不可能的,因为山坡上到处都是冰楔,河岸也在水下。 点击查看大图 查看完整分辨率 图 1.1982 年秋,阿拉斯加西部,泰、布伦达和作者。作者照片。 我怀着绝望的心情蹒跚回家,却听到后院传来如释重负的呼喊声。泰被找到了!达茜和我跑到街上,穿过后院的大门,看到他站在我们的玩具箱旁,箱盖被撑开了。泰满脸通红,重复着 "我从洞里呼吸"。我把他抱起来骂道:"你没听见我们在叫你吗?"直到今天,达西还认为泰躲在我们眼皮底下。我想他是爬进玩具箱藏起来,然后睡着了。或者他还太小,没来得及掀开盖子。只有听到有人叫他,他才会被发现。_______ 多年后,在哥哥去世后的日子里,我忘记了约会,猝不及防地穿过施工区,闯了红灯,忘记了好朋友的名字。我几乎不知道自己的一天是如何度过的,或者应该如何度过。正如人们所说,我悲痛欲绝。悲痛欲绝。十六个月前,当我得知我们五十一岁的哥哥...
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来源期刊
Great Plains Quarterly
Great Plains Quarterly HUMANITIES, MULTIDISCIPLINARY-
CiteScore
0.10
自引率
0.00%
发文量
20
期刊介绍: In 1981, noted historian Frederick C. Luebke edited the first issue of Great Plains Quarterly. In his editorial introduction, he wrote The Center for Great Plains Studies has several purposes in publishing the Great Plains Quarterly. Its general purpose is to use this means to promote appreciation of the history and culture of the people of the Great Plains and to explore their contemporary social, economic, and political problems. The Center seeks further to stimulate research in the Great Plains region by providing a publishing outlet for scholars interested in the past, present, and future of the region."
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