Attachment style and distress in couples experiencing sexual desire discrepancy

Abstract

Intimate partners’ sexual desire for each other can fluctuate throughout the course of their relationship, and greater difference between partners’ habitual level of sexual desire (i.e., sexual desire discrepancy [SDD]) is linked to lower sexual and relationship satisfaction ( Mark, 2015 ). Although some couples view SDD as a natural and normal part of a sexual relationship, others experience significant distress and may seek therapy. Based on a prominent literature on attachment among couples ( Birnbaum & Reis, 2019 ; Mark et al., 2018 ; Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007 ), the current study incorporated an actor-partner interdependence model to examine the dyadic associations between insecure attachment style (i.e., anxious, avoidant) and sexual desire among couples experiencing distressing or non-distressing levels of SDD. Couples ( N = 202; 51% female, 48% male, 1% different gender; M = 28 years old, SD = 5.05) were recruited through social media (e.g., Instagram, Twitter) and completed a survey assessing sexual distress, adult attachment style, and sexual desire. Although anxious and avoidant attachment did not moderate an association between SDD and sexual distress, higher levels of avoidant attachment were associated with sexual distress for the individual, but not with their partner’s distress. Findings suggest attachment may be essential for understanding individuals’ experience of sexual distress when coping with discrepant levels of sexual desire in romantic relationships.