Being milos

Abstract

This chapter examines the semantic ramifications of the Romanian term milă (pity, compassion, empathy) and the type of intersubjective relationships it evokes. It is shown that in Ceuaş the milă structures several types of relationships: those that are based on disinterested generosity and compassion; on social obligation and the power dynamics of the Roma community; and on the clever subterfuges that are required of Roma interacting with Gaje. According to the Roma of Ceuaş, “being milos” (empathic) is a central feature of their identity and it explains why they cry so often with music. It is suggested that the Roma of Ceuaş may be considered an “emotional minority,” at odds with the organization of affects in the Gaji (non-Roma) society.