PRUDENCE

Abstract

Prudence: Hello. Bruce: Hello. Prudence: (Perhaps referring to a newspaper in her hand...) Are you the white male, 30 to 35, 6’2”, blue eyes, who’s into rock music, movies, jogging, and quiet evenings at home? Bruce: Yes, I am. (Stands) Prudence: Hi, I’m Prudence. Bruce: I’m Bruce. Prudence: Nice to meet you. Bruce: Won’t you sit down? Prudence: Thank you. (Sits) As I said in my letter, I’ve never answered one of these ads before. Bruce: Me neither. I mean, I haven’t put one in before. Prudence: But this time I figured, why not? Bruce: Right. Me too. (pause) I hope I’m not too macho for you. Prudence: No. So far you seem wonderful. Bruce: You have lovely breasts. That’s the first thing I notice in a woman. Prudence: Thank you. Bruce: You have beautiful contact lenses. Prudence: Thank you. I like the timbre of your voice. Soft but firm. Bruce: Thanks. I like your voice. Prudence: Thank you. I love the smell of Brut you’re wearing. Bruce: Thank you. My male lover Bob gave it to me. Prudence: What? Bruce: You remind me of him in a certain light. Prudence: What? Bruce: I swing both ways actually. Do you? Prudence: (Rattled, serious) I don’t know. I always insist on the lights being out.