Taking up space: Female experiences of anorexia recovery and psychotherapy training

Abstract

This qualitative study used autoethnography and semi-structured collaborative interviews to examine the lived experience of recovering from an eating disorder and becoming a therapist/counsellor. The study used a free association narrative approach. Artwork, journals and conversations with university colleagues, clinicians and participants were included in this research of the self. Reflecting on semi-structured interviews with therapists who have recovered from anorexia, and ongoing written and visual autoethnographic research into her own eating disorder, recovery, and journey into becoming a therapist, the researcher considers the complexity of being seen as a ‘narcissistic’ woman. She also reflects on the difficulties of transitioning from girlhood to womanhood when anorexia developed as a child, and other issues of difference faced as a therapist, including ethnicity, age, parental and marital status. Surrounded by others’ gaze and ambivalent messages about narcissism and a woman’s place in the world, she looks at her own journey as a recovered anorexic, a newly qualified therapist and an autoethnographic researcher. She questions how to resolve the anorexic struggle about wanting to be seen and wanting to be invisible.