The desires that were denied: (Re-) construction of sexual identity in middle adulthood.

Abstract

Many men who entered adulthood in the 1970’s through 2000 experienced sexual desire for other men in their adolescence, but did not integrate this experience into their identities. After forming heterosexual identities and entering heterosexual marriages, some experience a re-emergence of same-sex desire in midlife. We examine posts to three online groups for such men in “mixed-orientation marriages” to describe the ways in which the inadequacies of available cultural scripts for sexual orientation impede their ability to re-integrate their samesex desire into their adult identities. We also suggest that the men who can make use of advanced forms of adult cognition are better equipped to transcend the limitations of cultural scripts and form a more coherent and inclusive adult identity.