Why Do People Deceive Their Intimates?

Abstract

This chapter focuses on what motivates intimate deceivers, presenting a taxonomy of common motivations. The book starts by examining deceivers because legal and popular scrutiny of intimate deception too often begins with the people who have been deceived, faulting them for having been fooled. Although there can be substantial variations between individual cases, the motivations behind intimate deception tend to reflect recurring themes. Psychological factors can make some people more likely to deceive their intimates. In addition, there can be tremendous concrete and practical incentives to deceive intimates or to deceive people into intimacy—and the law itself has created or exacerbated some of those incentives. Courts denying remedies sometimes minimize or discount the role that deception played in an intimate relationship. But exploring why people deceive their intimates reveals that deceit can be crucially significant to relationships and can produce enormous benefits for deceivers.