On Becoming Tender: Conversations with My Father

ABSTRACT “Becoming Tender” invites readers to rethink intergenerational refugee relations. Rather than solely focusing on refugee parents and their failings, as commonly expressed in scholarly works, becoming tender necessitates children recognizing the perspectives and biases they bring into conversations with parents that impede empathetic connection and value for refugee knowledge. This two-way softening serves as a praxis to rewrite how refugee families have been represented by dominant discourse while also encouraging readers to answer the call to tend to their familial ties. Critical examination of intergenerational engagement between refugees and their children may illuminate unexpected enactments of refugee knowing and healing.