“Daring to Be True and to Shine Brightly in the Time That Remains”: Imagining Transgender Ageing in Fredrik Ekelund’s Q

ABSTRACT This article explores imaginings of transgender ageing, and more specifically visions of transfeminine ageing futures, through an analysis of the auto-fictional novel Q by Swedish author Fredrik Ekelund. The novel tells the story of Fredrik, who comes out as transvestite at the age of 60, and subsequently struggles to come to terms with and explore their transfeminine identity as Marisol. Overall, cultural representations of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer ageing are rare, and often tell tales of misery. As such, Q is a unique example of a complex and relatively positive narrative of transgender ageing. On the one hand, transgender ageing is portrayed as a potential escape from both time and growing old, a form of “rebirth”. On the other hand, failure emerges as a constant threat, including both the failure to perform age-appropriate femininity and failure in the sense of becoming stuck with self-loathing and shame. The protagonist’s struggles to age successfully become intimately connected with pride and standing up for oneself, struggles that are in turn bound to homonationalist discourses of Scandinavian progressiveness and LGBT exceptionalism.