“For them it is just a story, for me it is my life.” Ethnography and the Security Gaze

In this article I reflect upon my own work on Salafism in the Netherlands, particularly with militant activists, in order to think through some of the ethical and methodological dilemmas that arose throughout the research when many of my interlocutors left for Syria to join Jahbat al-Nusra and/or IS(IS). This culminated in my becoming a witness and an Expert Witness at a trial, testifying against several of my known contacts. After introducing this research and outlining my experiences in court, I set out to show how academic knowledge about Salafism and militant activism is used in a process of racialised categorisation and closure. This article contributes to critical reflections on the positionalities of social scientists and of social science in public in a context of racial securitisation and politicisation.