To Tell or Not to Tell: Disclosure Experiences and Perceived Microaggressions Among Adopted Adolescents With Lesbian, Gay, and Heterosexual Parents

There is limited research on stigma experiences and disclosure practices among adolescents who: (a) are adopted, (b) who have LGBTQ+ parents, and (c) who are sexual or gender minorities themselves. At a time when LGBTQ+ identities are both increasingly visible and also publicly debated, we conducted interviews with 50 adolescents ( M age = 14.86 years) in 12 two-father, 20 two-mother, and 18 father/mother families. Following protocols approved by Clark University’s Institutional Review Board and through the frameworks of sexual stigma, microaggressions, and communication privacy management, we used thematic analysis to explore themes of disclosure practices, peer responses to disclosure, and parent responses to sexual and gender identity disclosure. Adolescents described various disclosure decisions around their adoptive status, LGBTQ+ parent family structure, and their own sexual and gender identities, ranging from rare to reactive to proactive disclosure. Such decisions were in some cases shaped by the intersections among participants’ race, gender, and family structure. Participants often selectively disclosed because of concerns related to privacy and negative peer reactions. Many adolescents reported instances of microaggressions from peers around their identities. Parent reactions to their children’s sexual and gender identity disclosure were more complex than peers’ reactions. Findings have implications for therapists and other professionals working with adolescents and their families.