‘Conversations with strangers’ – autoethnography and the salvaging of a ‘precarious’ masculinity

I have often felt ashamed of the disabled aspect of my masculine identity. Reflexive, autoethnographical practices help me to ask why? These practices facilitate a reorientation of my frames of reference, from shame to acceptance, by examining attitudes which coalesce around what has been described as the dilemma of disabled masculinity. This dilemma arises as disability is associated with helplessness whereas masculinity is associated with power and autonomy. Power and strength are particularly salient as my own condition is one of weakness, a neuro-muscular disorder. Living outside societal constructions of masculinity can impact identity formation, employment prospects, and educational attainment. I describe the uncommon interplay between my health condition and working as a Further Education teacher to outline an accord between the precarity of this role and a disabled, masculine intersectionality. Accordingly, I assert that my disabled male identity is vital, vibrant, and valuable.