Human suffering and the vicissitudes of personal responsibility in the course of psychotherapy

Abstract: In this paper I take a new look at the issue of the client’s responsibility in psychotherapy: I will not only investigate responsibility as an ethical demand, but will especially focus on the changes it frequently undergoes in the experience of my clients during the course of psychotherapy. Simply speaking, it occurs to me that typically clients at the beginning of psychotherapy are not clearly aware of the influence they exert on their psychological fate – in particular, their loneliness; they tend to hold others (parents, etc.) responsible. However, as time goes by, they increasingly discover how they have in part contributed to their own suffering. In the subsequent course of therapy this liberation from the illusion of irresponsibility often leads to a change in perspective, i.e. a closer examination of how they have isolated themselves from others by withholding their care from or even inflicting harm on them. This discovery may then result in a joyful social commitment, with which they both assume responsibility for others and reduce their own social isolation. Keywords: debt, ethics, guilt, I-Thou, loneliness, narcissism, distress, relationality, responsibility, shame, suffering.